Monday, October 27, 2008

One Final Week of Political Nonsense

The presedential election is only a week away and frankly, I can't wait for the madness to end. Maybe I've faced a stronger media onslaught in Ohio, a battleground state that has made early voting available to the public because in reality, we're among the few who matter. The voting is largely inconsequential in California, Texas, and dozens of other states where the results were decided long before the campaigns even began. But I'm sick of all the negativity, especially from McCain, who I now fondly refer to as Captain Mega-douche. His ratio of Obama-bashing remarks to self-promoting positive ideas, both in debates and in his advertisements, has been embarassing. His only legit shot at winning now rests in the hands of 21-year-old males who find Sara Palin hot in the MILF sense. Maybe that was his strategy all along. As for Palin, I get the impression she thinks she's a finalist on some sort of new age reality show. She's attractive, she does a lot of crowd waving, and she displayed some impressive shoulder moves at SNL's weekend update desk, but has she made a single, worthwhile remark since becoming McCain's running mate?

Arguably the dumbest McCain ad shows an empty oval office, followed by a voice-over claiming that Obama has never faced a crisis in the executive chair. Ummm, maybe I'm hallucinating, but I'm pretty sure McCain has never been in that position either. His funniest ads involve pork taxes. Apparently rich folks don't want to pay for poor people's bacon, and I think that's just selfish. Come to think of it, if Obama is elected will they change the name of the White House to the Black House? (Bu-dum-ching). On a more serious note though, I'm really scared for Obama should he get elected. I'd like to think the two morons recently arrested for threatening to kill Obama voters were the only two out there. Unfortunately, even in 2008 there is senseless hatred and bigotry and I'd be shocked if there weren't similar incidents in the future.

One local ad has actually pissed me off far more than anything involving the presidential campaigns. At least ten times a day, I am subjected to ads endorsing a "no" vote on issue six, regarding bringing a fully operational casino to Ohio. The message behind it warns viewers that the potential owner and operator failed to pay casino taxes in his previous state. Sorry, but I don't give a shit about whether he did or didn't. This ad reeks of uptight conservatives who view gambling as some sort of sinful vice. Just because they don't want anything to do with it doesn't give them the right to prevent others from doing so. Granted, I love poker, blackjack, and almost everything associated with casinos. But on a more practical level, I can't think of anything better for a struggling economy than the emergence of a casino (they should be in every state). They not only create thounsands of jobs, but they bring in tons of money from tourists and rich folks who otherwise might not think twice about stepping foot in this state. There's no downside here.

Amidst all the election hoopla, Oliver Stone's "W" arrived in theaters rather quietly. With Bush's reign nearing an end and focus shifting to his potential successors, it seemed an odd time to release the film. Having seen it, I wonder if the typically controversial Stone is losing his edge. He has been a vocal Bush-basher, and with commercials and late night shows playing up the comedic moments, I anticipated a great entertainment. However, the film seemed more a sincere effort to humanize Mr. Bush. By the end I felt more sorry for the president than anything else. Still, I couldn't escape the feeling that Stone had softened his take in hopes of not alienating Bush supporters, presumably to ensure bigger box-office results. On the plus side, Josh Brolin was remarkable as Bush and seems destined to earn an oscar nomination for his lead portrayal. Unfortunately, the rest of the performances were a mixed bag, which abtly describes the film. It was a decent diversion, but ultimately a lost opportunity.

In a few weeks time, Bush will seem a distant memory, as will the loser of 2008 election. It's up to you to decide the identity of our new leader. If you vote like a good citizen, Starbucks is offering a free 'Tall' coffee ('Tall' supposedly represents their 'Small,' a needless contradiction if I've ever heard one). However, if you vote for Obama, I'll throw in a $5 blackjack voucher at your casino of choice. But whichever way you go, one thing is certain . . . you're gambling.

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