You hear it during postgame interviews following any big win. The reporter corners the hometown hero, who answers mindless babble regarding working hard and stepping up to a challenge, before inevitably thanking his team’s fans. Ironically every player, regardless of location or the team to which he is affiliated announces his fans are the best in the league. However, certain rules immediately disqualify a fan base from being the best; Are they knowledgeable about the sport? Did they care about the team when they were bad? Do they have a legitimate rooting interest in their success beyond a fun night out at the arena?
I've been pondering these questions after attending Friday nights Cavaliers/Celtics game in Cleveland, a circled date on the calendar for any true basketball fan. Regrettably for yours truly, the Celtics played like donkeys with the exception of Kevin Garnett, who never seemed to stop working. But Paul Pierce and Ray Allen looked lethargic from start to finish, Rajon Rondo was inconsistent, and Doc Rivers couldn't find a single unit with any rhythm. We gave ourselves no shot to win as Cleveland out worked, out shot, and out defended us (inexcusable) for four straight quarters. Lebron James also had ‘that’ look in his eyes all night. You could see he wasn't going to let the Cavs lose as he subsequently dominated every aspect of the game. But enough reminiscing about the on court play. If I immerse myself deeply into how and why Boston has been playing so poorly the last couple of weeks, this entry will be twenty-five pages long. So let’s get back to my real concern, which involves the Cleveland fans. I realize there is no way to convince readers that I am capable of a neutral opinion on what follows, so you'll just have to take my word as fact (TB can vouch for everything I'm about to report, for what it's worth).
The Cleveland crowd, for lack of a better word, sucked. Throughout the first half, the sold out stadium was so quiet you could actually hear a pin drop. I at one point turned to TB to ask why we could hear conversations taking place ten rows away. Talk about a lifeless crowd. This was the biggest professional sporting event the city of Cleveland has seen since last year's playoffs, and the excitement was virtually nonexistent. I started texting friends in disbelief. Even when the Celtics went 15-67 during the dreadful 1996 season, the crowds were louder than this. The only energy in the building developed as a result of silly jumbotron prompts that had nothing to do with the Cavs! At random moments throughout the game, it flashed the logos of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Michigan Wolverines, and even the Boston Red Sox, all of which elicited sustained boos from the crowd. Apparently the magnitude of the game itself wasn't enough to get them caring, though not to worry. After I’d all but given up on them, the building exploded midway through the third with a rousing chorus of "Cha Lu Pa!" The crowd roared in unison and it took a full minute to figure out what they were suddenly screaming with enthusiasm. Over and over and over, chants of "Cha Lu Pa" echoed from one side of the stadium to the other. Nothing like Taco Bell to pump up twenty thousand fair weather fans.
During the fourth quarter the indifferent crowd finally came alive, although by that time the Cavs were up twenty, the outcome no longer in doubt. A "Boston sucks" chant suddenly echoed through the rafters from out of nowhere, though I suppose I expected it from this group of dispirited morons, who depended on a highlighted plus/minus score differential on the scoreboard to help identify how many points they were winning by. Seriously, a plus/minus digital score? Can they not add in Cleveland? I've never seen that before. While their eventual win brought the season series to a tie (1-1), the C’s are still the defending champions, and our city has amassed a plethora of recent championships. The last title won by this shitty city was for the Browns (1964), before the Super Bowl even existed! The fact that Cleveland broke into this disheartening chant made me chuckle. It's like the Rolling Stones being criticized by a wannabe startup band with no songs of note.
To highlight a few positives, Quicken Loans Arena was physically impressive. Newer and larger than the TD Banknorth Garden, it also boasted better entertainment value, at least throughout the concourse. They offered a free sign making booth, fun for both kids and obnoxious adults. With an option like this, frustrated fathers can escape dragging awkward cardboard cutouts featuring humorless lines like "We Rule" all the way from home. A team of young talented dancers occupied a space by the escalator and even encouraged fans to match their hip moves (sadly the only person we saw try was a middle-aged white guy). Additionally, the ‘Q’ provided an electronic basketball shooting game where you could challenge an opponent to see who could score more points in thirty seconds. The pretzels sold were in the shape of giant Q's, not exactly ingenious, but fun none the less. And offering Cold Stone Creamery products is always a smart move. The prices were more or less inline with Boston sporting events, though the beer was slightly cheaper. Lastly and most bizarrly they gave out a free deck of cards to every fan, causing me to wonder if they somehow knew I'd be writing this article.
Unfortunately the in-game entertainment was poor, very poor. Despite a cool opening fire blast and a funny montage showing famous Bostonians wearing simulated Cavs gear (including the stars of Cheers, Damon & Affleck, Bird & McHale, etc...), they were pretty stingy with alternative entertainment, including the lack of any halftime activities. Does this happen anywhere else? Young kids sat there with nothing to look at for sixteen minutes other than the two ball boys shooting lay-ups. The ‘Q’ didn't offer any fan money shot. They did replicate the slingshot shirt throw and parachute drop, though the latter didn't reach fans in the seats most deserving (i.e. the balcony). Rather the majority of them dropped into the laps of the affluent families occupying the lower level $200 seats. TB was quick to point out that the Cleveland uniforms didn't match, a fact, although they were wearing old school jerseys on this evening. The P.A. system was another failure, until the previously mentioned chalupa chants. At one point they played "Sweet Caroline" so softly I wondered if the goal was to taunt the few Boston fans who could hardly hear it, but they weren't that clever. Hearing that Sox anthem in a stadium where nobody sang along was perhaps the most depressing experience of 2009 thus far. The extended movie montages (a typical highlight for me) were few and far between, and the Cavs cheerleaders rarely took the court. Most disappointing was their team mascot Moondog, who brought no personality and his dunks were pedestrian at best. He actually made me long for Lucky, the C’s infuriating mascot who I regularly rip for being annoying.
It must be said that parking was much more accessible and cheaper ($15) than for Boston sporting events. Although with the weather being typically hideous for Ohio, our drive home was somewhat horrifying. Upon exiting the ‘Q’ a few obnoxious Cleveland fans began yelling for Celtic's fans to "suck their . . . . .,” a classy move if ever there was one. A young man from Columbus who sat next to us during the game had even remarked how “ghetto” the Cleveland masses were. A fellow Boston fan we spoke to actually informed us of his intent to register an official complaint over how disgusting the crowd had acted towards visiting fans. While I don't tend to take this stuff personally, I do find it telling that there were no taunts prior to tip-off or throughout the early stages of the game. While having a few pregame drinks at “Harry Buffalo,” a seemingly popular sport's bar across from the ‘Q’, we'd received a couple of stares from Cleveland fans, but not much conversation. I expected more having been showing off my official KG tank top and Celtic's hat. TB wore a green Celtics shirt, and the best any fan could come up with was a lifeless "so not cool" to me on my way to the bathroom. Where was the ridicule earlier in the evening? Doesn't Cleveland have any pride? I guess being so accustomed to losing, they don't pile it on until after registering a worthwhile victory, an achievement so rare they don't know how to act accordingly when they do win.
When all was said and done, the biggest cheers inside the ‘Q’ may have actually been for Ben Wallace, the most generously supported bad player in sports. The stadium went nuts when he hit a free throw in the final minutes, another rare event I gathered. Sure they cheered for the lovable Anderson Varejao (Cleveland’s answer to Brian Scalabrine). They went bonkers for the Chalupas and of course Lebron, who was awesome. But these were brief, isolated moments occupying perhaps thirty minutes of a game that ran almost three hours. One of my friends said the building sounded loud on TV, which makes me wonder how good ESPN's sound system must be to stage that kind of electricity. The energy during the fourth quarter was in my view completely nullified by the prolonged dead patches that marked the first three.
Fortunately, I wasn’t subjected to King James referencing the league’s ‘best fans’ in his postgame interview. If he had he'd have been lying, like so many athletes probably feel compelled to do. When he inevitably bolts for New York in 2010, he'll instantly know the kind of worthwhile fan base he's been missing all these years. Roughly 80% of the merchandise offered at the ‘Q’ concession stands consisted of tee shirts reading "Witness," a reference to the Nike sponsored ads for Lebron. Sadly for the Cleveland folks, they have little else to latch on to. And once their local hero abandons this despondent franchise, they will resort back to the indifferent demeanor that seems to characterize the entire city. While my beloved Celtics lost in disappointing fashion on this snowy evening, I left Cleveland with a sense of pride, taking solace in knowing where I come from and who I have the opportunity to support.
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